[Verse 1 (A-H): Gradient]
Alright, I’m alphabetically attacking any actors
Authentic assonance is always what I’m after
Bragging bodaciously, battling bastards
Need balance? Better buy a bigger bundle of bannisters
Caucasian canister of conquered colonies
I’ll calmly copy Carlin for the cold-hearted comedy
Diligently dominate dingy daft dentists
But didn’t dare daydream of dissing DeGeneres
Ellen is elementarily elevating elephants
Every edge ending even and eloquent
Forging fan fiction for federal fantasies
Fourty-fourth president facing forced fallacies
Going green gallantly, with gratitude gone
Gradient getting grimy, grabbing glue guns
Holding hospitals for hostage and hiding bright hues
Happily hyping up the highest truth and writing haikus

Bet you can’t follow that
Whatcha got, Brian?

[Verse 2 (I-P): Brian Steveson]
I imitate, I idolize, infiltrate with idle eyes
Investigate ideas my inspired mind has improvised
Jazzin up the jingle, just jaunty like I’m Jabberjaw
Jungle juice, jokin’, Jack’s jumpin’ like in Jagger’s song
Kickin’ your keister through your khakis, kid’s keepin’ it cocky
Kinda kinky, kill ‘em with kindness, (vroom vroom!) Kawasaki
Levitated Lincoln Logs, left for lunch lickety-split
Locked and loaded limbo game, lost by a little bit
Mighty Morphin movie major, merry melodic Mexican
Meticulously mustering music is my method, man
Narcissistic novelties, never the noblest nut you knew
Neo-noir, near and far, Nutcracker’s Netflix queue
Operating ocarina, onomatopoetic ogre
Oozing oldies out the orifice till it’s over
Part of the problem, I panic and ponder, caught in a pickle, life is plain
But I pick up the pace, pack the punch, prepare myself and push the pain

Aww, puns! I could have said puns! That’s like my thing!
Hey Thomas, can I try that again?

[Verse 3 (Q-Z): Gradient]
Questioning the quantified, qualified to quake
Quirky queens quarrel on a quest to quaternate
Rushed like I’m Romo, riding Rivers like Cuomo
Rhyming rhetorical ready to rage, read it on Reddit and rocked the race
Stop the stage, somebody’s sinning and socked a sage, steadily spitting
A similar syllable selling a salmon and salad until she swapped and saved
Twenty-two terrible teenagers trampling a tote
Takin’ a timid approach to eating tons of Texas toast
A unicorn’s uniform is usually untestable
Veterinarian vetting a vermin to verily eat your vegetables
Vulpix, Will-o-Wisp, wordy with a willingness
To work the wickedest walkway and watch you waive your will to this
Xenophobic xylitol Xerox the xylophone…
Xenon… uhh… I don’t know
They used to yell “yuck!” Now they’re yelling, “Yay! You win!”
Zeroed in, I’m zany in the zone, you can zoom in